i'm not even close to being an authority on anything, but i am very opinionated and will dole out judgment as i see fit.
You really want to be paleo? Then don’t buy anything from a store. Gather and kill what you need to eat. Wild grasses and tubers, acorns, gophers, crickets- They all provide a lot of nutrition. You’ll spend a lot of energy gathering the stuff, of course, and you’re going to be hungry, but that’ll help you maintain that lean physique you’re after. And hunting down the neighbor’s cats for dinner because you’ve already eaten your way through the local squirrel population will probably give you all the exercise you’ll ever need. Dr. Britta Hoyes
2 months down…
i’ve been a teacher for a full two months now, and here are my thoughts on it in no particular order:
- Clorox wipes are the greatest invention ever.
- i always thought people who “forgot to eat lunch” were liars- until i became one.
- columbus day is the most perfectly timed holiday in the history of calendars. or holidays.
- that being said, 3-day weekends might not be worth a 4-day week.
- your first fire drill should always coincide with the exact time you were taking your kids outside anyway.
- spending all day with kids is a special kind of tiring that i’ve never felt until now, and i think everyone should have to try it.
- i work with the greatest colleagues a girl could ask for.
- no seriously, they’re the best.
- i own a laminator and a label-maker now, and it’s even better than it sounds.
- first grade is a rough year. all sarcasm aside- it is not easy to be a first grader.
- my sister-in-lloyd has never been more correct than when she said, “being consistent is EXHAUSTING!”
- 6 year olds are really literal.
- turns out i’m not great at “letting things go” or “remembering [my kids] are 6”
- nothing impresses me as much as kids are impressed by stickers.
- i can hear my mom’s voice coming out of my mouth every time i reprimand a kid.
- the custodians, school nurse, and secretary are truly your best friends.
- your kid will have a fever again in 4-6 hours when the tylenol wears off. no one believes that you didn’t know they were feverish before school.
- similarly- don’t tell me that your kid ‘isn’t like this at home!’ i don’t care because i don’t work in your house.
- i really really really like my coworkers.
things veteran teachers warned me about that are absolutely true:
- you will never be sick as much in your life as you are during your first year of teaching.
- teaching sick is awful, but not as bad as having a sub.
- Airborne is worth its weight in gold.
- parents can absolutely be the worst part of the job.
- cherish the good days and drink after the bad ones.
and finally, some notes for my kids:
- none of you hate it when i yell more than i do.
- i am not, secretly or otherwise, a witch.
- you can sit on desks when you’ve spent 19 years in school too.
- school is the most fair place/time in your life.
- i am more patient than you and i will win.
I can declare the following: (1) Though a good deal of the stereotype is true, it’s obviously not the whole story; and (2) it’s a good sign when hillbillies think you’re a bunch of effete liberal dilettantes using the flag to wipe up spilled caviar, while at the same time effete liberal dilettantes think you’re a bunch of braying vulgarians using the Cradle of Liberty as your own personal vomitorium. That’s the sweet spot, that is Joe Keohane
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